Part of the problem is that my current depression not being tied to any particular trauma
Not that I would ever wish something bad on myself or anyone But boy howdy is it easier to figure out when you can point and be like THAT IS WHY SAD

— GhostEsq via twitter

When you pay attention to what you type on

At work I use a Thinkpad w510. It’s one of those big slabs of computing that brings you joy to use. It has ye olde scissor switch keyboard that everyone knows and loves. I hear the new chiclet style keyboard is decent… but just that, decent. This keyboard is the real deal, behold:

Thinkpad W510 Keyboard

There’s only one problem. The machine has a Nvidia Quadro FX 880M. This is a really damn nice GPU to have on a laptop and I’m thankful for it. The problem is it runs hot, uncomfortably so for the workloads that I throw at it. This means I ended up having to use an external keyboard to avoid having my left hand run a full 10° higher than the rest of my body. I ended up with this, a regular Apple iMac keyboard:

Apple iMac Keyboard

Since I’m using it on Windows I have to deal with Apples outright disregard for its hardware users on platforms that are not macOS. Now, with this said, I’ve been looking for years for a PC keyboard that has the same key feel as the stuff Apple makes plus a few things:

  • Volume control buttons.
  • Media control buttons.
  • Full set of home keys and numeric keyboard. None of that weird ultra-minimalist keyboards that make you regret using a computer.
  • A full set of F-keys
  • Macro keys would be nice to have
  • Have it be wired. Wireless sucks and it’s insecure. If it must be wireless then give people the option to use an USB cable instead.
  • USB hub.

At home I use a Corsair Gaming K55 RGB keyboard. It’s got all the goodies I outlined above minus the USB hub but it does have backlighting:

Corsair K55 RGB Gaming Keyboard

It’s a nice piece of kit. Not that loud since it uses regular plastic switches as opposed to mechanical, but you can still feel a nice clack when the keys bottom out.

So basically what I want is a flat keyboard like Apple makes but with a bunch of extra keys. Got some benefits for it:

  • Wired means you don’t have to worry about battery life.
  • Flat means you can pack it in a bag with a minimum of fuss.
  • The minimalist look will make people lose their shit.
  • The keys will still feel really nice on long typing sessions.
  • They won’t hear you typing at the coffeehouse across the street.

I’ve been looking for something like this for years, and no manufacturer has stepped up to the plate. They’re all trying to chase the look Apple has but they come up severely lacking when it comes to the functionality. This would be a keyboard for people who are not afraid of buttons on their devices— say, DIP switches on the back to emulate various settings, like the CODE keyboards do. If some Chinese upstart were to start making a device like this and not load it up with a secret keylogger it would probably do pretty well for itself.

But what do I know. After all I’m only looked at as a kitchen hand these days.

What does one do when you’re alone?

I am having to face this question now. About a year ago I was able to answer the question without issues:

  • Nap.
  • Fuck around on the computer.
  • Try to learn how to play the guitar.
  • Read.
  • Read some more (I did not own a telly at the time).
  • Fuck around on the twitter dot com.
  • Work out when able to overcome the ennui.
  • Cook.

Now… I’m not so sure I can answer it without having to face a abyss of self-doubt, recriminations, and the certainty of having broken a heart.

It’s a hard thing to deal with.

I can’t work too hard off the clock because then I will lose myself in work again. As this was my favorite mechanism to deal with things I don’t think it augurs glad tidings that it is back on the table. At least not with the people I work for. At least in a kitchen they would chase me out.

So, what now? I’m kinda sorta sure I’ll find something that I’ll be able to throw myself into… But in the meantime it will Be Hard™.

I do have one thing to hold on to: the need to leave this town. Maybe I’ll be able to make it happen.

Never been to the Atlantic Ocean yet.

It’s more fun to yell at people anyway

A nicely set table, fresh flowers, candles, and music are well and good, but if you have to look at a heap of pots and pans while you’re eating, that special effort you’ve put into dinner into is lost. Guess what? Close the door. Problem solved.

from Why I Will Never Switch to an Open Kitchen

The author raises a very good point, and this is one of the reasons why people just love to go out for dinner. You don’t have to worry about buying the ingredients, prepping them, cooking them, and then washing those dishes to be put away at some later time.

Hell, I like to cook and I felt tired from just writing that. So people go out for dinner.

Another benefit of an enclosed kitchen: When you burn something — which you will if you cook for long enough — you don’t risk having the entire studio/apartment fill up with smoke and then smelling weird for days, possibly weeks.