Enduro
In the space of a month:
- Found a new full-time job at helpdeskJerb.
- Adjusted my schedule at bartendJerb.
- Moved addresses.
- Potentially finished my time working at sysadminJerb.
I’m fucken tired.
life
*shrug*
Life hasn’t changed much since the current pandemic started.
I’m still working nights, so I don’t really get to see that many people. I still order pretty much everything for delivery.
The gf is staying with me during almost-quarantine since she was able to get a job in a restaurant (!!!).
Life goes on but I can see how it is changing for everyone around me.
This Galaxy is vast; its wonders and beauty are almost unfathomable. But the galaxy also hides dark secrets, some of which have lain dormant since the beginning of time itself. There is a danger in secrets, both in seeking and in knowing. Some things are meant to be hidden from view. Some mysteries defy understanding, and sometimes even the things we think we know are untrue. Some secrets should remain untouched. Secrets can tempt your primal instinct, and lead you again into war. The Halos were one such secret.
Cortana
Back into the aether
Well, I just done and got me an IT job again. To actually keep it I:
- Quit at tKitchenJob.
- Ended up walking out at pbFOHjob. This place is a shithole and I don’t think I’ll ever see a paycheck from it; in the event I do I will probably never see my actual tips.
- Reducing hours at merBOHjob. They don’t like it but what’cha gonna do? You can’t pay me.
I think I’ll call this IT job… honeyJerb. Jen would be proud.
Dark liminality
Well, here we are again. Another week from hell done:
- Walked out on bFOHjob; I make the GM nervous.
- Reduced my hours at tKitchenJob because I’m starting at…
- merBOHjob, doing the same thing as tKitchenJob but at a higher wage.
- Going to try and give it a week before starting to look for another FOH job.
Lost the job, lost the girl, and I’m pretty sure I’ll get an eviction notice tomorrow Monday because… why not? It’s how the universe seems to work for me.
Anyway, as I now seem to have plenty of free time on the calendar I’ll try to make better use of it and spending re-learning how to code as I never have learned to do it properly. Or so I’m saying right now. But before I do that I’m going to get some reading material on personal finance and learn how to do forecasting; merely having a budget doesn’t cut it for me.
Hopefully I’ll also be able to sleep better tonight. Last night I was caught between being too tired to sleep and a mind racing to figure out a path forward.
Should’ve gone elsewhere
Writing this at the bar as the boss sits on the spot two places to my left. Wish I were fucking joking but I en’t.
Given past… Situations I have faced with her it makes it difficult to find a common social point that won’t get me in trouble with her at work even if the events happen outside of work.
Service industry blues, am I right.
The Night is strong
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to to go bed at a decent hour
Clean up as you go
There really is no solution, I think. There’s only the frankly awful act of dragging your sorry ass into the kitchen, loading the dishwasher, and wiping down the counters, after dinner, before you land on the couch like an anvil and give up the last of your energy for the day. Just start there. I’m sorry. It’s terrible. It’s a nightmare. But just do it.
Source: Clean Up Now
Life as a Kitchen.
The New Pornographers
I had been waiting for this show for years, and didn’t go.
Last time, ever, that I buy tickets for me and someone else. No matter who it is.
No pressure
I think I’m failing but I’m not sure at what. Life? Money? Love?
I’m just trying to keep my head above the water, but not quite succeeding.
I’s frustrating. I think that’s going to be the theme for the last half of 2016.
Frustration.
Hold strong against the waves
Shifts on the phone just… wear you down, humans. They wear you down, hard, no matter how fit you think you can take the damage.
You never see the person. You usually never even know what they look like (we have social media for that nowadays) but they sure wear you down, call after call.
Doesn’t matter if you’re apologizing to someone or if you’re apologizing for someone. The mere fact that you have to talk to someone is enough to grate on you.
This is why there is so much turnover at call centers. Talking to other humans is just hard. Because no matter what you’re calling about or why you’re calling about, they usually resent it.
The internet has not made this better. It has made this worse.
Finances
I seriously need to change my habits. I’m spending too much money and my cost of living went up %250.
I thought it’d be easy — doesn’t one always think so? — but it’s not. For starters I need to stop buying other people food just because I can.
Need to be much more careful with these sort of expenses. They really creep up on you.
This month will be more or less okay, but I really need to pay attention during September.
Living space search goes on
It’s a bloody pain in the ass, is what it is.
Craigslist has been taken over by spammers (I’m looking at you, fucking Roomster), padmapper is useless to find roommates and the market is getting more expensive all the time since all the new housing excitedly approved by the city is luxury housing.
Yeah… most people in this city do not have a grand to drop in rent monthly. And that’s without taking into account the security deposit (usually a month’s rent) and the rental application. So if you’re looking to live in one of those hot new apartment buildings you’re looking at at least $2500 USD, give or take a few hundred dollars.
The entire structure is setup to screw renters. Same goes if you actually try to buy a house.
I’m just annoyed because I’ve looked at a few places and they all suck.
It’s forced
Lots of things happening right now. Guess the calm I’ve had over these past few months is now coming to an abrupt end.
Right now I guess I’m just writing this to remind myself that I should write my thoughts down. That’s how this blog got started. That’d probably be a good thing.
It’s only Tuesday
This is going to be a long week.
The Blur of Days
Don’t you hate how sometimes the days just go by without noticing?
It’s like walking in a blizzard, with thoughts flying by so fast you have no hope of holding them in your hand.
But carry on you must.
Yes ma’am
I know you knew as soon as we first saw each other, and you veered away from my lips.
Yes ma’am. How could I not tell?
You’re smart. That’s why I feel the way I do for you.
So my kid got his own phone
Don’t ask if it’s proper or right or whatever — it’s a done deal and now we (his parents) have to deal with the fact he is not an active participant of the Internet.
Since I’m using Google Apps, we got him a managed account in one of my domains. This will allow us to recover the account quickly if he ever gets his devices or his credentials compromised. This account qualifies as a full google account, which is both a plus and a minus. But mostly a plus.
A more immediate problem is how to get his device loaded with content. Since I’m in the US I get access to a lot of content for what is a very low price. He’s in Mexico and access to legal content is still very costly. I would very much like for him not to have to look for stuff on the torrents or cyberlockers.
I’ll figure something out. In the meantime, I’ve already hit a snag trying to get him access to music. I’ll just have to ignore the age requirement for a while…
’tis the season in 2015
This year I’m conflicted about the holiday season.
I have two families with which I’ll happily spend time with alongside the Jägerin. Problem is both of us are working a hell of a lot and having a hard time finding time to see each other.
Oh, I have a girlfriend now. Catch up.
Ideas escape me
I have ALL THE IDEAS for ALL THE POSTS when I’m at any of my jobs or biking around or any of a million activities.
Most of the time I can’t reach for my phone cos I’m doing something that prevents my use of the phone. Ditto for any writing utensils.
Then I get home and I sit down in front of the computer and my mind goes blank.
So, so annoying.
We all need someone to tell us this at least once.
A twitter friend is having problems. We’ve had long conversations about the current status quo and how it cannot be maintained much longer without detrimental effects on her health. This is just a bit of what I told her:
When you move out, you’ll feel sad and alone. But you know what? You’ll actually be able to listen to yourself think, and to let yourself feel for yourself.
You’ll miss what you had before because it was what you knew for the longest time. But you’ll slowly adapt to the new circumstances and will allow yourself to relax, and your body will recover.
Then you’ll one day you’ll realize that you’re feeling okay. And that it’s good to be okay.
It’s one thing to feel alone, and another one to feel lonely. Right now you’re not alone since you’re with your mother but you are lonely because she won’t share herself with you. You only get her anger.
When you’re alone and get comfortable with yourself, that’s when you stop being lonely.
I wish someone had told me this when I was younger. I learned it the hard way.
Turns out this thought exercise is actually useful
Do you ever feel like throwing in the dating towel? David Kanegis has some advice for you.
Did you learn nothing from last year?
Working three jobs is pretty tiring, even when all three are just part time.
For now.
Life
Most of the time life is a fucking pain in the ass that you cannot leave. To do so would mean, well, to die.
But some days it’s quite agreeable. And today was one of those days.
Knife
I’m exhausted but content.
I know I can’t be happy but at least I can try to do the best job I can at work. I’ve been getting distracted… but I have to focus on what’s important.
I want to be one of the sharpest knives in the city, after all.
Need to sit down and actually type blog posts more often too. It helps to organize thoughts into something coherent.
I’m still trying
I learned that I could work my way out of despair.
via Best Advice: What I Learned from a Sex-Crazed Short-Order Cook | LinkedIn.
Bouncing back and forth.
A month ago, I was moving from Minneapolis to Rochester to work at a store in which a family member is involved. The warning was the other partner was hard to work with and would grind you down if you let him.
He is a micromanager. He is an asshole. He is a bikeshedder.
In a month, he ground me down enough for me to explode at him. Merchandise was broken. I almost spent the night sleeping outside in 10°F weather.
Now I’m back in Minneapolis looking for a job to love, in which I at least have the freedom to sell the way I like to sell. To sharpen my skills and do what I love — working. Even dishwashing is a good job if you like to have people say “these are the cleanest dishes I’ve seen at a restaurant.” That’s what I want.
Sad part is, I saw what Rochester needs and wants and I think I would have been able to provide it, in time. Now I’m afraid I won’t ever have the chance.