That was A Week

Sunday, July 16

Massive fight cos I did not want to move from bed after a week of 12 to 14 hour days. The core of it was that her feelings about what other people might think about me are more important than my physical well-being. I hit myself in the head and downed a pint of cold-press concentrate.

She ended up going to her parents’ on her own. Now hopped up on caffeine I stayed at home and cleaned. Fell asleep on the couch.

Monday

16 hour day between a busy time prepping and cooking lunch service at tKitchenJob, then dealing with more covers than usual at bFOHjob while severely understaffed. Getting home I find a big-ass box in the middle of the living room and I immediately get pissed because at this point I have been the only one consistently cleaning for weeks on end. I get loud enough to wake 🐝, who says she wanted to show how much she appreciates it.

I replied we wouldn’t need it if she helped clean. I slept on the couch again.

Tuesday

tKitchenJob was steady, but things at bFOHjob were a repeat of Monday, replacing the two servers with another pair. Slept on the couch again.

Wednesday

Busy lunch at tKitchenJob, had a chance to relax a bit on their outside benches with a glass of wine. Then off to Yeasayer at the Fine Line Cafe. I am exhausted and dead on my feet, but we manage. We still end up getting in another fight so I barely move the rest of the show and concentrate on not falling asleep right there and then (I still think I fell asleep fully standing up for about ten minutes regardless of the loud music. At the end of the show she said she was going for drinks with friends.

I am aghast. I just asked for keys, went home, and fell asleep on the couch.

Thursday

Got fucked over at tKitchenJob, then got fucked over again at bFOHjob with the usual combination of high bookings and low staff. Getting home I find 🐝 has cleaned a bit; the conversation went a bit like this.

🐝: I have been a shitty girlfriend and I need to change things.
null: Good. I have been overreacting mostly because **I am tired** and it’s hard to work all day and then get home and have to clean.

I think we’re okay. We both sleep on the bed.

Friday

tKitchenJob was steady prepping throughout, something for which I am thankful. bFOHjob… fucken’ clusterfuck. Friday night, two servers, one food runner, one wait assistant. No host, the GM was hosting. We got hit hard that day.

At the end of the night the GM wanted a high-five for surviving the night. Bitch, please.

Getting home I eat something with 🐝. I am desperate for sleep but the food is appreciated.

Saturday

🐝 leaves for work early, she’s opening at work.

I get to bFOHjob in the afternoon; got a barback shift. Getting there and… going to have to prep in the changing room/locker/storage space cos there’s a bachelorette party out front. Fine.

Borrowed a decent knife from the kitchen and got a talking to from two cooks and the chef cos I used a knife that belongs to a specific cook instead of a house knife. Up until that point I had assumed house knives were left on the magnetic knife rails and everyone gathered their stuff in their knife rolls or bains. Fine.

Get through prep… we’re short like a million things. I make do. While trying to set up one of the kegs neither the other barback nor me realize there are hoses in the walk-in cooler to carbonate the keg. Hose blows out, really loudly. I get a talking to from five people.

GM tells me I make her nervous.

Five minutes later, Bar Manager tells me I got it wrong and now I have to re-do everything.

I leave. I text 🐝 when getting home about it, then fall asleep on the couch. Wake up to a text from her saying she’s on her way.

When she walks into the apartment she says she doesn’t feel safe and is leaving. With that, she leaves.

I go back to sleep.

Sunday, June 23

I think I woke up around 1500, ate something, went back to sleep.

Monday

First day at merBOHjob. It went well and I got cut early. Went out and got drunk. 🐝 texts saying she’ll move out on Wednesday. Frankly, my dear, I couldn’t care less.

Speed of Thought

Software is supposed to be faster than you.

This simple fact is something most software developers will ever fail to understand. The rest will drive themselves unto insanity having understood the implications.

Dark liminality

Well, here we are again. Another week from hell done:

  • Walked out on bFOHjob; I make the GM nervous.
  • Reduced my hours at tKitchenJob because I’m starting at…
  • merBOHjob, doing the same thing as tKitchenJob but at a higher wage.
  • Going to try and give it a week before starting to look for another FOH job.

Lost the job, lost the girl, and I’m pretty sure I’ll get an eviction notice tomorrow Monday because… why not? It’s how the universe seems to work for me.

Anyway, as I now seem to have plenty of free time on the calendar I’ll try to make better use of it and spending re-learning how to code as I never have learned to do it properly. Or so I’m saying right now. But before I do that I’m going to get some reading material on personal finance and learn how to do forecasting; merely having a budget doesn’t cut it for me.

Hopefully I’ll also be able to sleep better tonight. Last night I was caught between being too tired to sleep and a mind racing to figure out a path forward.