hilarious how on voyager they have this whole dramatic episode about how there’s a murderer on board and on ds9 it’s like “oh yeah i got my pants fixed by this guy who’s killed thirty people :]”
you’re telling me this guy doesn’t kill people for fun
Killing people for fun and having fun while you are killing people is a subtle but distinct difference.
Remember to always work people who have fun at their jobs and enjoy doing them.
ok so there was normal stuff at the raffle but there was also like a dumb box on the floor that no one was paying attention to so I grabbed that and got 4 of these lol
oh damn! 48tb of storage? I’ve worked at two storage companies, but neither of them had raffle prices that good
Hi! We’re introducing Important Blue Internet Checkmarks here on Tumblr. They’re a steal at $7.99—that’s cheaper than some other places, when you consider that you get not one but TWO checkmarks for your blog on web only (for now). Why, you ask? Why not? Nothing matters! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
The best/funniest way they could respond to the backlash is to just replace crisp rat’s voice lines entirely with Charles Martinet making his standard Mario gibberish noises and change nothing else.
Just play it completely straight, leave all the other dialogue exactly as-is
Peach: And so, brave heroes from beyond, I implore you to save our kingdom. You are the only ones who can.
Luigi: What? No… no, that’s crazy, we’re not heroes, we’re plumbers! Tell her, Mario!
Mario: HEEPITTYBIPPITYBOPPITYBUNO
Luigi: You.. You don’t really mean that, do you? You can’t, not after everything that’s happened!
Mario: WAHOO MAMMA MIA
*Mario straightens his hat and grits his teeth as the camera zooms in on his face*
Mario:
Mario: YIPPEE
I promise as soon as the Mario movie comes out in a format where I can load the video into my editor, I will re-edit it so all of Chris Pratt’s lines are replaced with Mario 64 noises.
The best/funniest way they could respond to the backlash is to just replace crisp rat’s voice lines entirely with Charles Martinet making his standard Mario gibberish noises and change nothing else.
Just play it completely straight, leave all the other dialogue exactly as-is
Peach: And so, brave heroes from beyond, I implore you to save our kingdom. You are the only ones who can.
Luigi: What? No… no, that’s crazy, we’re not heroes, we’re plumbers! Tell her, Mario!
Mario: HEEPITTYBIPPITYBOPPITYBUNO
Luigi: You.. You don’t really mean that, do you? You can’t, not after everything that’s happened!
Mario: WAHOO MAMMA MIA
*Mario straightens his hat and grits his teeth as the camera zooms in on his face*
Mario:
Mario: YIPPEE
I promise as soon as the Mario movie comes out in a format where I can load the video into my editor, I will re-edit it so all of Chris Pratt’s lines are replaced with Mario 64 noises.
Using tumblr is like living in a low class apartment building. You just get used to the landlord not fixing things, and then someone new moves in and you’re helpfully like “oh yeah don’t drink the tap water, it’s got stuff in it that makes you sick” and then your neighbor you’ve had forever goes “oh they took the stuff out actually” and you’re like “what? when was this?”
“like two years ago”
“you mean i could’ve been drinking the tap water all this time?”
“yeah. they gave us individual mailboxes too finally, you don’t have to dig through the communal bin anymore”
“are you for real right now?? i just redirected my mail, i didnt know”
and the new tennant is like “why did you guys even live here if it was so bad”
“we like it.”
“I kinda miss the communal mail bin tho”
“the perpetually naked guy got evicted though”
“i know, so sad. he was really gross”
“i mean, his cousin streaks through the commons sometimes and knocks on all the doors”
“oh yeah, hate that guy”
New Person: I just saw this weird guy in the lobby in a really creepy anthropomorphic Pikachu costume??????
Old Resident: yeah we have no idea where that guy came from. We’ve left messages with maintenance ‘bout ‘im but-
Other Old Resident: just don’t make eye contact and you should be fine.
“what are these strange markings in the paint?”
“Oh! Thats from the crab infestation!”
“The crab infestation?! Wow, glad they got that under control before I moved in.”
“Oh, no no, it was an intentional infestation.”
“Uh….”
“Yeah, we’re hoping they bring the crabs back next year. A lot of us made friends with those crabs.”
No, I’m not joking, he doesnt just look like him, I swear to God neil gaiman lives across the hall.
Using tumblr is like living in a low class apartment building. You just get used to the landlord not fixing things, and then someone new moves in and you’re helpfully like “oh yeah don’t drink the tap water, it’s got stuff in it that makes you sick” and then your neighbor you’ve had forever goes “oh they took the stuff out actually” and you’re like “what? when was this?”
“like two years ago”
“you mean i could’ve been drinking the tap water all this time?”
“yeah. they gave us individual mailboxes too finally, you don’t have to dig through the communal bin anymore”
“are you for real right now?? i just redirected my mail, i didnt know”
and the new tennant is like “why did you guys even live here if it was so bad”
“we like it.”
“I kinda miss the communal mail bin tho”
“the perpetually naked guy got evicted though”
“i know, so sad. he was really gross”
“i mean, his cousin streaks through the commons sometimes and knocks on all the doors”
“oh yeah, hate that guy”
New Person: I just saw this weird guy in the lobby in a really creepy anthropomorphic Pikachu costume??????
Old Resident: yeah we have no idea where that guy came from. We’ve left messages with maintenance ‘bout ‘im but-
Other Old Resident: just don’t make eye contact and you should be fine.
“what are these strange markings in the paint?”
“Oh! Thats from the crab infestation!”
“The crab infestation?! Wow, glad they got that under control before I moved in.”
“Oh, no no, it was an intentional infestation.”
“Uh….”
“Yeah, we’re hoping they bring the crabs back next year. A lot of us made friends with those crabs.”
No, I’m not joking, he doesnt just look like him, I swear to God neil gaiman lives across the hall.
i never realized cuneiform was made with the corner of a cuboid tool, i thought the wedge shapes were carved such that you would press straight down with the tool at a 90° angle to the clay
i never realized cuneiform was made with the corner of a cuboid tool, i thought the wedge shapes were carved such that you would press straight down with the tool at a 90° angle to the clay
and then they proceeded to be the worst at their jobs for the next 20 years
No no, you don’t get it. Jesse and James are the absolute best there is at their jobs, but they have no idea what their jobs are.
They think that they’re thieves, agents of an elite criminal group led by Giovanni, stealing rare pokemon and advanced technology and such. And there might have been a time this actually was their jobs. In the first season or two, they frequently get angry phone calls about how they’ve fucked everything up, or get their expense account cut off because they have literally never turned a profit on their criminal enterprises and constantly procure and then lose/destroy expensive and elaborate devices.
But then the world came within a hair’s breadth of being destroyed, several times, and Jesse, James, and their weird cat rescued everybody. As terrible as they’ve always been at criminal endeavors of any kind, when the apocalypse approaches and they’re forced to step up, they’re really fucking good at saving the day.
And Giovanni is over here like… if the planet is destroyed, or time/space becomes unrecognizable, or civilization collapses, there’s no way for me to run a profitable criminal enterprise anymore. I need this planet, because it’s where I keep all my stuff. And I don’t pretend to understand the why of it, but these couple of bumbling nutcases that I should have fired years ago seem to be an important component of that? Somehow? So you gotta stop thinking about them in terms of acquisitions and start considering them… loss prevention. As in, even if you waste a million dollars a month on giant cat-faced robots and a vast array of fancy ball gowns and they never turn a profit, they are preventing all of your assets from going away at the same time because of something you can’t do anything about.
And that’s the great secret behind Team Rocket. These guys aren’t thieves, they’re professional superheroes (sponsored by organized crime). Of course, nobody ever bothered to tell them that.
“To protect the world from devastation…”
Plus, as is frequently pointed out: Jesse and James are good at every other job EXCEPT Team Rocket. They’re actually smart businesspeople and run successful food and merchandise stands and are great salespeople.
Hell, even in Team Rocket situations where they’re not chasing after Pikachu they’ve done better.
It’s just their Achilles Heel is one damn OP rodent.
Pikachu Proximity Intelligence Chart
pretty sure giovanni keeps them on so he can commit insurance fraud by giving them tech insured for way more than what was paid for it so when it inevitably gets destroyed he gets a nice check.
I’m accepting all of these responses actually
J&J (& Meowth) are field testers, catspaws and urban legend verifiers.
Bruce Wayne nominally owns Wayne Enterprises, but it is Batman that gets to make use of a vast amount of profits in his quests (alone and with the Justice League). But some how Wayne Enterprises still has money left. Same thing happens with Lex Luthor and LexCorp.
Jesse & James flip this; they own Team Rocket, with their secret identities are the ones owning the enterprise while their public identities are the ones we see chasing after Pikachu and getting complained about by Giovanni about how they’re draining profits. However, J&J are so good at everything else thta Team Rocket is still a profitable
criminal enterprise.
and then they proceeded to be the worst at their jobs for the next 20 years
No no, you don’t get it. Jesse and James are the absolute best there is at their jobs, but they have no idea what their jobs are.
They think that they’re thieves, agents of an elite criminal group led by Giovanni, stealing rare pokemon and advanced technology and such. And there might have been a time this actually was their jobs. In the first season or two, they frequently get angry phone calls about how they’ve fucked everything up, or get their expense account cut off because they have literally never turned a profit on their criminal enterprises and constantly procure and then lose/destroy expensive and elaborate devices.
But then the world came within a hair’s breadth of being destroyed, several times, and Jesse, James, and their weird cat rescued everybody. As terrible as they’ve always been at criminal endeavors of any kind, when the apocalypse approaches and they’re forced to step up, they’re really fucking good at saving the day.
And Giovanni is over here like… if the planet is destroyed, or time/space becomes unrecognizable, or civilization collapses, there’s no way for me to run a profitable criminal enterprise anymore. I need this planet, because it’s where I keep all my stuff. And I don’t pretend to understand the why of it, but these couple of bumbling nutcases that I should have fired years ago seem to be an important component of that? Somehow? So you gotta stop thinking about them in terms of acquisitions and start considering them… loss prevention. As in, even if you waste a million dollars a month on giant cat-faced robots and a vast array of fancy ball gowns and they never turn a profit, they are preventing all of your assets from going away at the same time because of something you can’t do anything about.
And that’s the great secret behind Team Rocket. These guys aren’t thieves, they’re professional superheroes (sponsored by organized crime). Of course, nobody ever bothered to tell them that.
“To protect the world from devastation…”
Plus, as is frequently pointed out: Jesse and James are good at every other job EXCEPT Team Rocket. They’re actually smart businesspeople and run successful food and merchandise stands and are great salespeople.
Hell, even in Team Rocket situations where they’re not chasing after Pikachu they’ve done better.
It’s just their Achilles Heel is one damn OP rodent.
Pikachu Proximity Intelligence Chart
pretty sure giovanni keeps them on so he can commit insurance fraud by giving them tech insured for way more than what was paid for it so when it inevitably gets destroyed he gets a nice check.
I’m accepting all of these responses actually
J&J (& Meowth) are field testers, catspaws and urban legend verifiers.
Bruce Wayne nominally owns Wayne Enterprises, but it is Batman that gets to make use of a vast amount of profits in his quests (alone and with the Justice League). But some how Wayne Enterprises still has money left. Same thing happens with Lex Luthor and LexCorp.
Jesse & James flip this; they own Team Rocket, with their secret identities are the ones owning the enterprise while their public identities are the ones we see chasing after Pikachu and getting complained about by Giovanni about how they’re draining profits. However, J&J are so good at everything else thta Team Rocket is still a profitable
criminal enterprise.
