Demons and monsters that torture people because they feed on human suffering are so dumb. People are suffering everywhere my guy go literally any place and take a deep whiff.
Monster that feeds on suffering becomes a professional caretaker for people with chronic pain and terminal illnesses. They can’t change the fact that these people are suffering, but they help a bit and in the meantime they’re fat and happy off that Sweet Sweet ambient pain in the air.
Two towns over there’s a demon lord trying to get their cult to abduct people for torture, but they keep getting stopped by heroes and the like, so they’re barely scraping by. Meanwhile Belogarth the Registered PCA is chowing down on back pain, medication side effects and looming mortality for eight hours a day and has become the most powerful demon on earth without realizing it.
“But don’t their clients feel weird knowing that they’re feeding off their suffering?” No they think it’s hilarious and they’re real shits about it.
It’s a form of spiritual husbandry. Like how you get more milk from a cow if you take good care of it than if you kill it.
If “Life is suffering,” a demon who feeds off suffering must love life.
Another thought: If someone is suffering, and a demon eats that suffering, that implies that the suffering is (temporarily, at least) alleviated.
“I’ve been depressed for months, but then a demon ate my sorrow and worry, and I feel so much better now.”
I was just thinking about this! Like with things that eat nightmares - the nightmare gets consumed, right? what a great way to get rid of persistent nightmares!
Something something capitalist realism where it’s impossible for certain people to imagine something not wanting to endlessly grow and expand, instead of merely being contented with enough.
D&D has an entity called “Dendar the night serpent” which is a Jörmungandr style snake titan that lives between worlds and is responsible for eating all the nightmares that ever existed….for some reason in the canon lore she’s evil….
WHY!?! big friendly space snake wants to make sure you sleep good! Every player I’ve told about her has been an instant fan with a dedicated minority making it a personal goal to boop the all-devouring snoot.
hilarious how on voyager they have this whole dramatic episode about how there’s a murderer on board and on ds9 it’s like “oh yeah i got my pants fixed by this guy who’s killed thirty people :]”
you’re telling me this guy doesn’t kill people for fun
Killing people for fun and having fun while you are killing people is a subtle but distinct difference.
Remember to always work people who have fun at their jobs and enjoy doing them.
ok so there was normal stuff at the raffle but there was also like a dumb box on the floor that no one was paying attention to so I grabbed that and got 4 of these lol
oh damn! 48tb of storage? I’ve worked at two storage companies, but neither of them had raffle prices that good
“You might be from the hood but they’re from the wood they don’t play”
That’s how I’m going describe sotol and bacanora when compared to tequila and mezcal.
Hi! We’re introducing Important Blue Internet Checkmarks here on Tumblr. They’re a steal at $7.99—that’s cheaper than some other places, when you consider that you get not one but TWO checkmarks for your blog on web only (for now). Why, you ask? Why not? Nothing matters! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
The best/funniest way they could respond to the backlash is to just replace crisp rat’s voice lines entirely with Charles Martinet making his standard Mario gibberish noises and change nothing else.
Just play it completely straight, leave all the other dialogue exactly as-is
Peach: And so, brave heroes from beyond, I implore you to save our kingdom. You are the only ones who can.
Luigi: What? No… no, that’s crazy, we’re not heroes, we’re plumbers! Tell her, Mario!
Mario: HEEPITTYBIPPITYBOPPITYBUNO
Luigi: You.. You don’t really mean that, do you? You can’t, not after everything that’s happened!
Mario: WAHOO MAMMA MIA
*Mario straightens his hat and grits his teeth as the camera zooms in on his face*
Mario:
Mario: YIPPEE
I promise as soon as the Mario movie comes out in a format where I can load the video into my editor, I will re-edit it so all of Chris Pratt’s lines are replaced with Mario 64 noises.
The best/funniest way they could respond to the backlash is to just replace crisp rat’s voice lines entirely with Charles Martinet making his standard Mario gibberish noises and change nothing else.
Just play it completely straight, leave all the other dialogue exactly as-is
Peach: And so, brave heroes from beyond, I implore you to save our kingdom. You are the only ones who can.
Luigi: What? No… no, that’s crazy, we’re not heroes, we’re plumbers! Tell her, Mario!
Mario: HEEPITTYBIPPITYBOPPITYBUNO
Luigi: You.. You don’t really mean that, do you? You can’t, not after everything that’s happened!
Mario: WAHOO MAMMA MIA
*Mario straightens his hat and grits his teeth as the camera zooms in on his face*
Mario:
Mario: YIPPEE
I promise as soon as the Mario movie comes out in a format where I can load the video into my editor, I will re-edit it so all of Chris Pratt’s lines are replaced with Mario 64 noises.
Using tumblr is like living in a low class apartment building. You just get used to the landlord not fixing things, and then someone new moves in and you’re helpfully like “oh yeah don’t drink the tap water, it’s got stuff in it that makes you sick” and then your neighbor you’ve had forever goes “oh they took the stuff out actually” and you’re like “what? when was this?”
“like two years ago”
“you mean i could’ve been drinking the tap water all this time?”
“yeah. they gave us individual mailboxes too finally, you don’t have to dig through the communal bin anymore”
“are you for real right now?? i just redirected my mail, i didnt know”
and the new tennant is like “why did you guys even live here if it was so bad”
“we like it.”
“I kinda miss the communal mail bin tho”
“the perpetually naked guy got evicted though”
“i know, so sad. he was really gross”
“i mean, his cousin streaks through the commons sometimes and knocks on all the doors”
“oh yeah, hate that guy”
New Person: I just saw this weird guy in the lobby in a really creepy anthropomorphic Pikachu costume??????
Old Resident: yeah we have no idea where that guy came from. We’ve left messages with maintenance ‘bout 'im but-
Other Old Resident: just don’t make eye contact and you should be fine.
“what are these strange markings in the paint?”
“Oh! Thats from the crab infestation!”
“The crab infestation?! Wow, glad they got that under control before I moved in.”
“Oh, no no, it was an intentional infestation.”
“Uh….”
“Yeah, we’re hoping they bring the crabs back next year. A lot of us made friends with those crabs.”
No, I’m not joking, he doesnt just look like him, I swear to God neil gaiman lives across the hall.
