I am having to face this question now. About a year ago I was able to answer the question without issues:
- Fuck around on the computer.
- Try to learn how to play the guitar.
- Read some more (I did not own a telly at the time).
- Fuck around on the twitter dot com.
- Work out when able to overcome the ennui.
Now… I’m not so sure I can answer it without having to face a abyss of self-doubt, recriminations, and the certainty of having broken a heart.
It’s a hard thing to deal with.
I can’t work too hard off the clock because then I will lose myself in work again. As this was my favorite mechanism to deal with things I don’t think it augurs glad tidings that it is back on the table. At least not with the people I work for. At least in a kitchen they would chase me out.
So, what now? I’m kinda sorta sure I’ll find something that I’ll be able to throw myself into… But in the meantime it will Be Hard™.
I do have one thing to hold on to: the need to leave this town. Maybe I’ll be able to make it happen.
Never been to the Atlantic Ocean yet.