Maravillas

nullrend: a mi nunca me toco eso. Estaba batallando con Mac OS y Windows :p
nullrend: eh, siempre me ha gustado el soporte tecnico, asi que esas dos plataformas son las que mas chamba me han dado
animalito: esop si
animalito: mas el windows, es una maravilla para el trabajo de soporte
animalito: siempre le falla algo

We hunger

H: sabías que es químicamente bueno hacer ayunos de 3 – 4 días cada determinado tiempo, ejem, cada mes?
nullrend: fuck that, I’m hungry

The Universal Conspiracy

A: no hay video
A: jajaja
nullrend: ah, como sabes?
A: yo lo se todo
nullrend: las mujeres siempre dicen eso y el universo conspira para que, aunque no sea cierto cuando lo dicen, lo sea cuando uno quiera comprobarlo
A: jajaja

Aceptable

[21:12:20] @hotmail.com says:
que es ?
[21:12:27] nullrend says:
tu picale
[21:12:34] nullrend says:
ni que te fuera a mandar porno o spam
[21:12:43] @hotmail.com says:
hahahaha
[21:12:45] nullrend says:
aunque el porno creo si lo apreciarias xDDDD
[21:12:49] @hotmail.com says:
lo primero es aceptable
[21:12:51] @hotmail.com says:
hahahahahhahaha

lock, stock and two smoking barrels

[first lines]
Bacon: Right. Let’s sort the buyers from the spyers, the needy from the greedy, and those who trust me from the ones who don’t, because if you can’t see value here today, you’re not up here shopping. You’re up here shoplifting. You see these goods? Never seen daylight, moonlight, Israelite. Fanny by the gaslight. Take a bag, c’mon take a bag. I took a bag home last night. Cost me a lot more than ten pound, I can tell you. Anyone like jewelry? Look at that one there. Handmade in Italy, hand-stolen in Stepney. It’s as long as my arm. I wish it was as long as something else. Don’t think because these boxes are sealed up, they’re empty. The only man who sells empty boxes is the undertaker, and by the look of some of you lot today, I’d make more money with me measuring tape. Here, one price. Ten pound.
Eddie: Did you say ten pound?
Bacon: Are you deaf?
Eddie: That’s a bargain. I’ll take one.
Bacon: Squeeze in if you can. Left leg, right leg, your body will follow. They call it walking. You want one as well, darling? You do? That’s it. They’re waking up. Treat the wife. Treat somebody else’s wife. It’s a lot more fun if you don’t get caught. Hold on. You want one as well? Okay, darling, show me a bit of life then. It’s no good standing out there like one o’clock half-struck. Buy them, you better buy them. These are not stolen, they just haven’t been paid for, and we can’t get them again. They’ve changed the bloody locks. Here. One for you. It’s no good coming back later when I’ve sold out. “Too late, too late” will be the cry when the man with the bargains has passed you by. If you got no money on you now, you’ll be crying tears as big as October cabbages.
Eddie: Bacon, cozzers!
Bacon: Shit.

Dildo vs Dido

Yo: Oye má, amanecí con muchas ganas de escuchar a Dido.
Mamá: ¿Dildo?
Yo: ¿Por qué dices dildo? Es DI-DO.
Mamá: Dije DILDO.
Yo: Estás diciendo diLdo y no Dido. *¡Cara de OMG MADRE!*
Mamá: ¡Ah! Di-do. ¿Qué es dildo?
Yo: Ehm… bueno, pues… tú sabes.
Mamá: Oh, ya… *Cara avergonzada y risitas* ¿Es algo sexual?
Yo: Sí, es un juguete.
Mamá: ¿Cuál? :o
Yo: Pues el … que vibra.
Mamá: ¡Oh, un vibrador!
Yo: ¿Quieres ver imágenes? *con cara cínica*
Mamá: ¡Yo lo busco en Google, hija! *se va a la computadora*
Yo: *poker face*
Mamá: *risitas malévolas*

On bodily needs

[18:15:02] Nullrend says:
you know what? screw it
[18:15:22] Nullrend says:
I’m staying out of girls’ beds and I’m keeping them out of mine
[18:15:24] Nullrend says:
=P
[18:15:45] [ Gabrielle Q ] says:
oh, so you are just using hotel beds? =P
[18:15:46] [ Gabrielle Q ] says:
jajajaja
[18:15:53] Nullrend says:
LOL
[18:16:10] Nullrend says:
I am SO posting that on my tumblr
[18:16:37] Nullrend says:
can’t stop chuckling at it
[18:16:59] [ Gabrielle Q ] says:
jajaja
[18:17:01] [ Gabrielle Q ] says:
it was good
[18:21:36] Nullrend says:
yes, it was
[18:22:12] [ Gabrielle Q ] says:
but, hey, maybe it is a good idea to keep out of beds
[18:22:37] Nullrend says:
oh, it just keeps getting better
[18:23:04] [ Gabrielle Q ] says:
why?
[18:23:10] Nullrend says:
you’d have to be careful of carpet burns
[18:23:20] [ Gabrielle Q ] says:
jajajaja